Monday, September 26, 2011

In and out

Photo:Mattias Nilsson Madcap Piktures, 2009
Session: Fall in Västerås

I haven't forgotten about you...

I just came home from the hospital (again). It feels like I´m living at different clinics, health centers and hospitals. My head is killing me and I feel like it is all hopeless. No one can find out what´s wrong or why this pain is "popping up". About 14days every month I lie in bed almost unconscious by the pain. At the moment it feel like I Just wanna give up, leave... But were? What ever I do the pain is there.
I cry a lot, because i cant see an end to this. It all feels so hopeless

Last Thursday I was at meeting and there I collapse because of the pain and woke up at the hospital. The fucking nurse had stung me with a needle so many times (wrong) that I now look like an addict on my arms.

The Doctors always tells me to lie down and rest a lot. But how does reality looks like? Homework, tests, work and other things you must do.
People get angry when I'm not taking it easy, but would they pay my bills? Hardly...

BUT... I will stepping down with the modeling. At the moment I will have to cancel all my all appointments with photographers and catwalk events. Hopefully I will get back in the saddle soon again and with lots of joy :-)

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